“Failing Forward”: How Shalom Lamm Taught Me That Feeling Lost Is Part of the Path
Let’s be honest: there are days when it feels like everything is falling apart.
Your inbox is full of rejections. Your latest launch underperforms. You compare your behind-the-scenes chaos to someone else’s polished success—and suddenly, it feels like you’re failing.
But here’s the truth that saved me from giving up:
Feeling like you’re failing doesn’t mean you are.
In fact, that feeling might be the very sign that you’re right where you need to be.
I learned that from watching and listening to entrepreneur Shalom Lamm, whose career journey taught me that progress isn’t always pretty—and failure is often just a chapter, not the conclusion.
In this post, I’ll share why it’s okay to feel like you’re failing, how Shalom Lamm reframes failure as fuel, and what you can do when everything feels like it’s going wrong.
The Myth of Constant Progress
In the age of social media and curated success stories, we’ve been sold the idea that growth is linear—that if you just hustle hard enough, your business (or life) will only go up.
But as Shalom Lamm often says:
“Real growth looks like chaos before it looks like progress.”
Shalom has built and led ventures in real estate, education, and non-profit work. And through it all, he’s faced plenty of moments that didn’t feel like winning—deals that fell through, opportunities that collapsed, and seasons that felt stagnant.
Yet he kept going—not because he never felt like a failure, but because he learned how to move through that feeling without letting it define him.
Why “Feeling Like a Failure” Is Actually a Sign of Growth
When you feel like you’re failing, it’s usually because you’re trying.
You’re stretching. Taking risks. Doing things you’ve never done before.
As Shalom Lamm points out, that discomfort isn’t weakness—it’s evidence that you’re building something real.
“The only people who never feel like failures are the ones who never leave their comfort zone,” Shalom shared in a recent podcast interview. “And that’s its own kind of failure—just one that shows up quietly.”
So if you’re feeling lost, discouraged, or like nothing is working, don’t assume you’re broken. You’re becoming.
Shalom Lamm’s Story: From Setbacks to Strategy
Shalom’s path hasn’t been a straight line. One of his early ventures in real estate took years to gain traction. There were missteps, miscalculations, and moments where giving up would have been easy.
But instead of hiding those experiences, he often shares them with young entrepreneurs who assume that success comes quickly.
One of his most powerful insights?
“Success is a lagging indicator. You’ll feel like you’re failing long before you see the payoff.”
When you internalize that, the bad days become bearable. You stop viewing failure as a stop sign—and start seeing it as a signal.
5 Reasons It’s Okay to Feel Like You’re Failing (And Why You Should Keep Going Anyway)
1. It Means You’re Aware
People who are self-aware often feel like they’re failing more than they are. Why? Because they notice gaps. They want better. They see what could be improved.
That self-awareness is what fuels growth—it’s not a flaw. It’s feedback.
2. You’re Likely Comparing Unfairly
We all do it. We scroll through someone else’s highlight reel and wonder why our behind-the-scenes life is such a mess.
Shalom Lamm emphasizes the danger of comparison:
“You don’t know what sacrifices someone made to get there—or what struggles they’re hiding. Stay in your lane.”
Your timeline is yours. And it’s not supposed to look like anyone else’s.
3. Failure Builds Grit (The Real Currency of Success)
Shalom has often said he’d rather back someone with scars than someone with a spotless record. Why?
Because failure breeds resilience. It teaches you how to adjust, pivot, and persist—skills no success book can truly teach.
4. You’re Closer Than You Think
So many entrepreneurs give up right before things start to click. You might not see the traction yet, but it could be one call, one post, or one connection away.
Shalom calls this the “90% trap”—the moment when you’re 90% through the struggle, but it still feels like you’re stuck at zero.
“You never know how close you are,” he says. “That’s why you keep going.”
5. Failure Often Teaches Faster Than Success
Your mistakes are not wasted. They’re building your future wisdom.
Every flopped offer, awkward pitch, or missed opportunity carries lessons that will serve your next version. As Shalom puts it:
“Failure isn’t the opposite of success—it’s part of the process.”
What To Do When You Feel Like You’re Failing
Shalom Lamm has shared a few practical tools for moving through failure without getting stuck:
Pause, But Don’t Quit
It’s okay to take a breath. Step back. Reflect. But don’t make permanent decisions based on temporary emotions.
Audit Your Assumptions
Are you actually failing, or just not hitting unrealistic expectations? Look at the facts—not just the feelings.
Ask: What Is This Trying to Teach Me?
Every failure carries data. Shalom journals after setbacks, asking, “What went wrong? What can I control next time?” It turns pain into progress.
Talk to Someone Who’s Been There
Shalom regularly mentors younger entrepreneurs because he knows how lonely failure can feel. Find someone who can offer perspective—and remind you this is normal.
Final Thoughts: You’re Not Broken—You’re Building
Feeling like you’re failing doesn’t make you a failure. It makes you human.
Shalom Lamm is proof that even the most respected leaders have felt lost at times. But the difference isn’t that they never failed—it’s that they kept building through the fog.
If you’re in that fog right now, keep moving.
Show up again tomorrow. Learn from today.
And trust that this messy middle is shaping the future you can’t yet see.
